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Bw, Stop Fighting Men!!!

ThirdEyeBeauty

Well-Known Member
I was not expecting that at all. I thought the OP was saying a bw used some choice words with him. I was coming in here to say the woman should not get into a verbal altercation with no stranger especially a man.
I really need to know what compels so many of us to do this.
The simple answer is how people grew up and what they were exposed to. It is very hard to change behavior even if you tried to change from your past.

Eta: I must say that was embarrassing to watch.
Eta2: I read the responses by others. See what I mean? People loved it. If *anything* It should have been a man to take it for the team. However this case doesn't seem to warrant that in my opinion. Now the woman has a charge smh. I hope that man has a charge!
 
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Laela

Sidestepping the "lynch mob"
ETA- I suspect this is a rhetorical question..but I'll address it anyway. lol

I believe it's in our nature to fight - which is not a bad thing; We're champions of causes but it's how we fight that is more important. We should fight with money, power, intellect, etc. But when all or most of those factors aren't there, we're reduced to using our fists...

I'm compelled to believe that's not the physical behavior of MOST BW but because of instances like this, we stand out. Because we're "fighters" we are relegated to be the ones in society who are expected to have this type of behavior. (Notice all the whites and Hispanics lauded her for what she did.. like, really? Yes, because society has it ingrained in their brains that if there's a fight, a BW is in it)

If she were a white woman or Hispanic/Latina, trust those men.. black ones and all, would've jumped in.

No way in H-E-double-hockey sticks would I pummel a grown man over insulting another man, don't care what color and what was said. That's just asinine and out of the divine order of things....

This woman even declined getting legal help for her troubles..she doesn't want strangers helping her. What does that say? We're more damaged than we think..

I really need to know what compels so many of us to do this.
 
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LdyKamz

Well-Known Member
I don't understand this. Everyone holding back the guys not to fight but let those two women in front just stand there in his face yelling and arguing with him. Not a single person told those women to step back until the black woman jumped up and punched him. And only then did they come try to take her away.

I have only once in my life tried to break up a fight and I was 16 years old and it was 2 of my girl friends. I wasn't getting anywhere and a guy friend of mine who didn't know them but knew me jumped in to break them up for me. He was successful. That was when I learned fighting and breaking them up (no matter who it was!) was for the boys. Never did that again for anyone.
 

Laela

Sidestepping the "lynch mob"
I can understand that, but I think it's likely because everyone thought if the men got locked in an all-out fight, it would be catastrophic for everyone; I guess they figured he wouldn't hit the women....

I don't understand this. Everyone holding back the guys not to fight but let those two women in front just stand there in his face yelling and arguing with him. Not a single person told those women to step back until the black woman jumped up and punched him. And only then did they come try to take her away.

I have only once in my life tried to break up a fight and I was 16 years old and it was 2 of my girl friends. I wasn't getting anywhere and a guy friend of mine who didn't know them but knew me jumped in to break them up for me. He was successful. That was when I learned fighting and breaking them up (no matter who it was!) was for the boys. Never did that again for anyone.
 

LuvlyRain3

Well-Known Member
Yeah it’s hard-wired in women to stand up against what’s wrong. Which isn’t bad, but we need to pick our battles and exercise our “damsel in distress” mode more often.
I don’t think many of us have this mode anymore, it has been made obsolete by the constant need to protect ourselves because we are always left unprotected. Add that to the overwhelming expectations of others (especially black men) to protect and save them for the past couple of centuries and this is what you get. We have some unlearning to do so we can rediscover what it is and means to be a damsel in distress sometimes. Or was it always undiscovered in the first place???
 

Maracujá

November 2020 --> 14 years natural!!!
I wouldn't do that for a man I know so def not for a stranger. I''ll call 911
That's how far my love for Black men goes. Reason #1 why I always make sure I pay my phone bill. Now, granted 911 type of numbers are free, but you just never know who you might need to call.

I don’t think many of us have this mode anymore, it has been made obsolete by the constant need to protect ourselves because we are always left unprotected. Add that to the overwhelming expectations of others (especially black men) to protect and save them for the past couple of centuries and this is what you get. We have some unlearning to do so we can rediscover what it is and means to be a damsel in distress sometimes. Or was it always undiscovered in the first place???
Pastor Voddie Baucham said that this is the most unprotected generation of women to ever walk the face of the earth. Just the other day I finished work early, to take a stroll, as the weather was nice. On my way, I encountered a man who was in his car, signaling me to get in his car to take me God knows where. It happened on another day, as I was on my way to church. Recently, a young White woman was raped and murdered in Antwerp. She was on her way to meet friends at around 6.30pm.
 

Southernbella.

Well-Known Member
I don’t think many of us have this mode anymore, it has been made obsolete by the constant need to protect ourselves because we are always left unprotected. Add that to the overwhelming expectations of others (especially black men) to protect and save them for the past couple of centuries and this is what you get. We have some unlearning to do so we can rediscover what it is and means to be a damsel in distress sometimes. Or was it always undiscovered in the first place???
I don't know that bm ever expected us to protect them. I think we say that to justify the stupidity of consistently defending them without reciprocity but nah, that's on us. I mean look at Ida B Wells. Nobody asked or expected her to put her life and livelihood on the line for black men. She did that on her own. And she's just one historical example. There are plenty more.
 
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