Naturals: People who stare at the back of your head?

Discussion in 'Hair Care Tips & Product Review Discussion' started by Harina, Jun 30, 2010.

  1. Harina

    Harina Well-Known Member

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    I know you're probably going to be like, how do you know someone is staring at the back of your head. I don't always but, often I feel as though someone it looking at me (you know the feeling) and when I turn around, there is somebody behind me and as soon as I turn my head, they turn their head and pretend like they were not looking at the back of my head and are looking at the invisible thingamabob on the floor. And even sometimes, they are too slow and I make eye contact. I know this might seem a little paranoid, but I know this happens to other people. Do you ever just want to go, I know, heaux, I have a lot of hair on my head and I like it, NEXT!!!
     
  2. detroitdiva

    detroitdiva New Member

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    Why do you care that someone is looking at you? You are a stong natural woman! You chose to be natural and in today's society, being natural is being different. So what they look at you! They may be staring because they are wondering if your hair is real, what did you do to get that style, how did you obtain the texture...or anything! People are not always as ignorant as we think, sometimes they are just inquisitive. Next time you see them staring, relax, take a deep breath, and think of their stares as admiration.
     
  3. Duchesse

    Duchesse Well-Known Member

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    :lachen: that happens to me all the time when I wear my wigs!

    Your hair probably looks interesting to them. I do the same thing, when I think my eyes won't bore holes into someones skull, if I like their hair.
     
  4. PopLife

    PopLife Well-Known Member

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    Yeah, I will admit that sometimes I think this way but the I rationalize to myself that's it just all in my head. Just be proud you have big beautiful hair to look at!
     
  5. Nasdaq_Diva

    Nasdaq_Diva Well-Known Member

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    I take it to mean they are curious about natural hair. I get alot of looks, but it's usually from relaxed women. They tell me about wanting to take that first step. Some may not have the courage to just walk up and openly ask you about your natural hair..they are simply admiring from afar.
     
  6. prettybyrd

    prettybyrd Well-Known Member

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    I've had good and not very good experiences with staring folk. This is usually when I'm wearing a fro as opposed to the WNG or twists.

    I always acknowledge them with a smile, I'm polite, then I speak. They usually speak in return and say something like, "I like your hair!" Then we talk about hair, or they move on as do I.

    Now, the other side of that are the folks who I catch staring/glaring/scowling at me/my hair. I also speak to them, but they rarely speak in return. I think it's because they got caught, or they hate my hair. Neither of which has anything to do with me, really, so I KIM! :)
     
  7. LovelyNaps26

    LovelyNaps26 Well-Known Member

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    anything that challenges what someone is used to is a cause for curiosity or jealousy, to be quite honest. when i was bsl relaxed people stared at my hair, i guess to find tracks. i was asked by a brave few (strangers) if my hair was real. as a natural i find that others stare for similar reasons. they are curious if all the hair on my head mine. I don't really get negative looks at my current length, but then again my hair is usually in a conservative protective style since i like to keep my ends tucked away. i feel like the stares are mostly out of curiosity. if i do suspect a sister is looking a little too hard, i may just casually stretch one of my twists towards my arm pit and twirl it. her focus soon shifts elsewhere. :yep:
     
  8. so1913

    so1913 Well-Known Member

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    I stare at a lot of natural heads myself in awe and admiration.
     
  9. CheLala13

    CheLala13 Well-Known Member

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    The most uncomfortable to me is when I'm talking to someone, but their eyes are way above mine, deadset on my hair. It's kinda funny though, but it can be strange.
     
  10. BostonMaria

    BostonMaria Well-Known Member

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    I was about to say the same thing. Natural hair is fascinating to me. I saw a woman at LAX with a SL twist out and I kept staring. I was praying she didn't notice and think I was strange :perplexed:grin: I'm that creep on the bus that stares at people's hair LOL
     
  11. Lola Laughs

    Lola Laughs Member

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    Yeah, they're staring at the back of my head and probably wondering why the twists in the back are unraveling. I need to fix that tonight. :spinning:
     
  12. BostonMaria

    BostonMaria Well-Known Member

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    LMAO :lachen::lachen:

    I was just thinking to myself "hmm they must be looking at my mullet in the back" LOL
     
  13. JuiceMobsta

    JuiceMobsta Well-Known Member

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    :lachen::lachen::lachen::lachen:
     
  14. Br*nzeb*mbsh~ll

    Br*nzeb*mbsh~ll Well-Known Member

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    For the first time, I wore a natural wash n' go to work this week. I received quite a few compliments. But there was one chic who just looked overwhelmed by the massiveness of my ever-increasing indigo cloud, lol (humidity causing it to get bigger and bigger and bigger and...).

    Yesterday, my back was facing my boss (male) and he actually walked allll the way around me - while staring at my head/hair and then jumped in surprise when he saw my face. His expression looked as though he didn't know who in the H*!! I was. It was quite funny, really. I get tickled just thinking about it. I'm getting a lot of, "That's allllll you, isn't it? I knew it..."

    I don't feel self-conscious at all. I mean, hey, it's a lot of hair. >>>>>> And it's not even picked out.


    Yet.

     
  15. I Am So Blessed

    I Am So Blessed I'm easy going.

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    "hingamabob" :grin:


    im not natural but, i love it when i know somebody is looking at the back of my head :grin: cuz i know they probably thinking "dang how she do dat dar? her hair is lookin fly"
     
  16. MadisonK

    MadisonK Active Member

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    QUOTE=Br*nzeb*mbsh~ll;11394726]For the first time, I wore a natural wash n' go to work this week. I received quite a few compliments. But there was one chic who just looked overwhelmed by the massiveness of my ever-increasing indigo cloud, lol (humidity causing it to get bigger and bigger and bigger and...).

    Yesterday, my back was facing my boss (male) and he actually walked allll the way around me - while staring at my head/hair and then jumped in surprise when he saw my face. His expression looked as though he didn't know who in the H*!! I was. It was quite funny, really. I get tickled just thinking about it. I'm getting a lot of, "That's allllll you, isn't it? I knew it..."

    I don't feel self-conscious at all. I mean, hey, it's a lot of hair. >>>>>> And it's not even picked out.


    Yet.

    [/QUOTE]

    Ok...i love the "yet"! lol

    People I work with stare at my hair all the time. If I am talking and look back at them, they are looking straight at my head with a look like they wanna do this...:poke:.

    The other day one of my work collegues said something about a poodle dog and my boss in a very obvious way stared at my hair. Oh well...guess they don't like it. Narrow minded :moon:!!
     
    Last edited: Jun 30, 2010
  17. prettybyrd

    prettybyrd Well-Known Member

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    What jerks! However, I keep picturing the bolded and it's cracking me up!
     
  18. MadisonK

    MadisonK Active Member

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    Yeh, for a quick moment I thought about saying "why are you staring at my hair?" But why bother...he would only lie. Sigh.
     
  19. Foxglove

    Foxglove A drop of golden sun

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    I can't say anything bc I stare at the backs of other people's hair lol
    Better than staring when they're facing you
     
  20. I Am So Blessed

    I Am So Blessed I'm easy going.

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    :grin::grin::rofl: so true.
     
  21. Boujoichic

    Boujoichic New Member

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    I wonder why some people seem to take it so negatively when others look at their hair. I myself notice that I look at people's hair a lot especially now that I am on the boards. I look not to speculate if it is a weave, to hate, or be jealous Im usually just admiring the ladies hair doesnt matter to me if it's relaxed, natural, or a weave I wouldnt bother looking if I didnt like it.
     
    Last edited: Jul 2, 2010
  22. jada1111

    jada1111 New Member

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    I know what you're talking about and no, it's not all in your head, because this happens to me.

    One minute someone's in front of me, then all of a sudden I turn around and they're behind me (doesn't matter the race). Or they'll purposefully sit behind me on the bus when there's a ton of seats available. I guess they're wondering if I'm wearing a weave, set my hair on straws, etc., I don't know, but it sorta trips me out. I don't like it.

    I'd prefer you ASK me if this is my real hair or how I got it that way instead of looking like you're about to snatch my bag or pick pocket me.

    Yeah, I'm paranoid and I own it.
     
  23. coolsista-paris

    coolsista-paris Well-Known Member

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    when i get stared at i feel it! really! but don't care actually. I tell myslef ,just curiosity or sometimes its a jealous type of look (you know the one that then looks you from up to down meanly) im like "whatever its not gonna spoil my day"...

    When I look at a black ladies hair realaxed or natural (after being on lhcf) either im sayong in my head "she needs to do something its a desaster" or "wow i love it, this woman understands the thang,takes care of her hair and looks fly" im proud for them.cool
     
  24. KurlyNinja

    KurlyNinja New Member

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    I'm transitioning... so most of the time I'm staring at natural heads of hair... I'm usually staring because I'm wishful thinking. :look:
     
  25. MrsHdrLe

    MrsHdrLe Well-Known Member

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    My sentiments exactly. But I find that I try not to stare when I see hair I like, (like the waistlength sister's hair I saw yesterday) b/c I imagine they're atuned to it and perhaps tired of it. It was actually a catch 22 actually b/c I WANTED to stare, but I didn't want her to think I was jelly or something. But then I felt bad when I didn't stare b/c I imagined she thought I refused to look b/c I was jelly or something. Truth is I was INCREDIBLY JELLY!:lick::lick::lick:
    It's hard to gauge the proper response when in public.
     
  26. Harina

    Harina Well-Known Member

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    :lachen::lachen: Happens all the time. I'm like, you and I both know you could have sat anywhere, and you sat directly behind me. C'mon.

    Ehhh, I think the reason why I'm a bit paranoid and don't take staring as a positive "oh, she's just staring because she's curious" is because for me, I don't think people stare at me for positive reasons. Actually, I remember when I was 17, I was in Old Navy just looking around. This was when I was relaxed and my hair was jacked up. I had stopped to find my size in something, and I could feel someone staring at me. I turned around and this older lady was just staring at the back of my head, probably thinking "poor chile." She finally realized I was looking right at her and gave me one of those pity smiles. I was sooooo embarassed. I know, I should get over it, but I still can't get over the fact that people are staring for negative reasons, not positive ones. This thread made me less paranoid though.
     
    Last edited: Jul 2, 2010
  27. jada1111

    jada1111 New Member

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    There's a WAY to do things Boujoichic. Some things are just "strange".

    A couple of years ago, I was in CVS and there were these two black girls in the same aisle as me. I really wasn't paying them any mind. I was busy minding my own business shopping and I turned around to find one of them "pretending" to be looking for something on the other side of me. Her friend was further down, basically giggling, but I "knew" what was up. Even though I knew they meant me no harm I found it very unnerving.

    I'm thinking "B___tch you black like ME, why da f___k are you sneaking up behind me acting stupid?" She ran back up to her friend and they quickly turned the corner, but I was like jeez. If y'all take that weave outta your heads and let your REAL hair grow a few inches YOU too could achieve the same results.

    It just bothers me. I guess I've been natural for so long that I consider it a regular, normal hairstyle for me. I keep forgetting that there are still folks on the fence or ashamed about showing their naps. It's unfortunate in 2010 that it's STILL an issue, but oh well.

    I stare at women too, but I tell them how beautiful I think their hair is when they catch me or I turn away super quick so as not to be RUDE.
     
  28. jada1111

    jada1111 New Member

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    LOL! :lachen: :lachen:

    That's not MY reason, but I do find it annoying more than being flattered by it. I'm one of those people that purposely goes out of their way not to draw attention to themselves.

    I don't show a bunch of cleavage or skin or wear loud clothes. I try to stay very understated. The ONLY thing I experiment with is my hair, because I consider it an accessory. My goal was from the very first time I decided to go natural 8 years ago was to wear a BAA. I know it's not something that can be done everyday in all situations (mostly on the weekends), but at least I'm able to if I want.

    I'm also used to my hair being this way now, so the sneaky looks are kinda weird. Just be a woman and ASK me or COMPLIMENT, but don't make look at you like you're about to take my *ish. I will move away and treat you like a bum dude on the street that I know is about to talk to me, but before he gets the chance I'm way on the other side somewhere. :giggle:
     
  29. I AM...

    I AM... New Member

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    When I get to feeling this way I say to myself" Self ain't nobody thinking bout you" That usually drives the feeling away. When people want to acknowledge me or thank me for being so fearlesss and fab they will. I know my name they just have to catch up..
     
  30. drappedup

    drappedup New Member

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    I feel like I get stares in general, not just about my hair, but I have no idea what the stares are about and I like to think it's NOT unique to me. I'm sure many people of all different looks feel this way, like someone is looking at them. You have to think of it from the perspective......when YOU'RE looking at someone, think how it comes off to that person. Even if it's positive admiration on your part, a lot of the time, people feel uncomfortable when they catch you staring at them. So just because they're staring doesn't even mean it's automatically a negative......you choose to interpret it that way, or assume as much, or behave in a paranoid mindset about it.
     

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